His children

I haven't written in awhile.. Not because I don't have anything to say.. But quite the opposite.. I feel like I have recently encountered so many trails, so many difficulties that I haven't been able to write because I didn't know how to put it all together.. I'll start off by going back and continuing my story.

We continued to see all five natural doctors and work together on seeing if my body would at least cooperate with natural remedies.. I was doing many cleanses and many different supplements.. Different types of shakes and medicines.. My whole day seemed as if it was simply just a schedule, a full time job of just taking the proper medications at the proper times.. Going to the doctors and then again just drinking medicine again.. My life was on a timer, on a constant alarm.. My seasons, my days, seconds, every single moment was spent trying to keep me going.. Trying to keep me on my feet, trying to have me live somewhat of a normal life and yet.. Nothing was normal about it...

Throughout this time, I had many wonderful doctors.. But a particular one (Dr.Walters) stood out the most. Every time I had an appointment with her, she not only tested me and treated me, but she spoke life and encouragement into my life.. She would pray over me and speak to me about my sickness, my life.. As if God was speaking to me himself.. One particular time.. While testing me she told me "Krestina, I feel like The Lord is telling me that this is going to be such an amazing testimony.. But there is something that you need to receive.. You need to receive healing in your heart, full restoration.. Because from the heart.. Flows all things, just as it is written in his word.." I stopped and I looked at her confused.. What does that even mean? My heart wasn't broken.. I felt like I was perfectly fine, I felt like God has given me so much strength and joy.. Why would I need to pray for restoration and healing of my heart?

I left the appointment, my mind pondering, wondering what exactly was I supposed to take from that?.. That evening I was on my knees having my prayer time and just spending time with The Lord.. When all of a sudden I felt the Holy Spirit speak to me, so loud and clear...(John 14:27Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.)my heart needed to be healed from trying to always do everything on my own, from all the emotions that I was trying to hold in, all the strength that I was trying to have, from all the baggage, burdens, hurt, that I was carrying... I needed to heal from the fact, accept that.. Its okay.. That I'm not okay.. How can I try and find healing when I'm not even letting myself face it? I knew that God is healing me, I know he's been giving me joy and strength.. But what about just accepting the reality that I am his child, I'm helpless without him, and it's okay to come to him about it.. I put myself under the impression that I needed to constantly fight, constantly smile and carry on.. But that's not what it's all about. Sometimes, it's about completely giving up and giving in to The Lord, by that, I mean..truly coming to him as his child and crying to him, knowing that throughout everything, he will always carry you..(Isaiah 41:10: "Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, I will help you, yes, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.")

After I heard the Holy Spirit, I felt completely ashamed and just started to come to him, pour it out.. Tell him my true fears and feelings, just confess and own up to the truth of my situation.. No one can help me, no doctor, no naturopath, not even myself, only God.. Because without his guidance.. I truly will not make it, not spiritually, not emotionally, mentally, and especially not physically..

From that moment, things started to change a little more, it was if I was still that positive, smiling person but I also felt a freedom, a weight lifted off, I felt like me breaking down before The Lord and truly realizing my worth to him, his love for me, the fact that I'm HIS child and it's okay to tell him everything that I'm feeling, that I'm struggling with because he created me! He knows everything, even if I try and hide it, even when I keep it in, he knows it all! But sometimes it takes us just to simply ask him and truly come to him for us to get an answer or healing..


Afterwards, I still began seeing all my doctors but it was as if all the constant discouragement and bad news, the constant negativity from all of them didn't affect me anymore.. Even though they kept telling me "there is no healing from this",  "your body may just rot away", "there is no telling how much longer you'll keep going" .. It was true, there was no telling how much I would keep going, but it was God that kept me going, that keeps me going... And sickness is NOT in his will.. So I WILL KEEP GOING, Believing, hoping, fighting.. For Jesus is the King of Kings, Lord of Lords, creator of all things, bearer of all sickness and diseases.. And he bore it all on the cross for us, and that almighty God.. Is also my father. He WILL take care of me.

But of course, the enemy never sleeps.. And spiritually I was renewed but physically.. I was truly started to feel my flesh giving up. Around Christmas of 2013, only 3 months after Mayo Clinic, I started to again decline drastically and started being rushed to the hospital just as often as I did since it first all began.. It started to all become a blur again.. Just like in the movies, the scenes where your rushed to the hospital and all you hear is yelling of Doctors and nurses, flashing lights.. Well I can concur that Cinemark has it completely spot on, because it's just like that. My body was giving out and my doctors were almost completely giving up. They said I have to start looking into different options, different states with clinics, maybe even a different country.. Without hesitation my parents started calling all around looking to hurry up and get me help, a place that could accept me as a patient right away, we looked into India and other places but the waiting list was too long and my parents didn't want to wait, it was too risky. After calling around, a few of our friends kept recommending a clinic in Idaho, Lifetree Wellness center. We were hesitant because we haven't heard much about it but we looked into it anyway.. We saw that they were an all natural clinic and focused on completely cleaning out all the organs and trying to start you fresh, it was a secluded clinic in the mountains and a medical rehab center, it seemed like it would be extremely difficult but it was worth looking into. We called them and explained my situation, the lady said that most of the staff is in Africa helping people there so they don't feel like they would be able to take me as a patient. Discouraged, we hang up.. Realizing that was basically our last option.. Within a few minutes the lady calls me back and says, "we want to make an exception and work with you, we feel that it has been put on our hearts to try and help as much as we can.." It was such a blessing to hear that, so after we got off the phone we got on our computer and bought me a ticket to fly there in two days..

I thought I knew what struggling was.. Until I went there..


I just want everyone to understand your worth... God gave his one and only son for me, for you, for all of us.. He does not desire sickness or pain, fear, worries, or burdens for us.. He desires for us to be set free and set apart from the things of this world and renew our hearts and our minds.. We are his children, and DO NOT DOUBT, he hears your prayers  and everything that you think no one sees or knows.. The Lord knows, and he Will carry you, he will lift you up and out of your situation.. It may not be in our timing but In his and we must remember that The Lord has perfect timing. Do not be discouraged for he is with you.. And this father will take care of you, love you, hold you, carry you.. Even if your earthly father won't... You still always have your Heavenly Father..