Arriving Home

When I arrived at home, I saw everyone waiting impatiently, there was so many questions, what just happened? why did it happen? Am I truly going to be okay? So many questions and yet not a single answer. It seems that this could have been a scary moment for most, but I just felt in my heart, that everything was going to be okay.. I don't know when or how but I know it will be. 

As I laid in my bed, I heard my family trying to decide what approach to take or whether to even take an approach at all.. was it going to happen again? Maybe it was just because I was fasting and my blood sugar was just too low,?.. All of them trying to find a reason or possibility to why I just collapsed, to what had just happened.

 While they were discussing amongst themselves...all I could think of was the dream. It was so vivid, so real, and it was the only thing I could remember from the days before. Everything else was wiped from my memory, but the dream stayed..

 In that moment, I started to just pray to myself. Asking God for strength, wisdom, peace, and joy to help me understand and see him throughout this time, whether it was just this one day or whether it would continue... I just wanted to see him and feel his presence, when I couldn't feel anything else.

The day went on, I still had no strength or energy, But in the pain and chaos.. I had peace. I continued to try to rest and all of a sudden I feel my stomach turning, I feel in my throat that I'm about to vomit. I rush to the bathroom and start vomiting, I couldn't even control it. I was vomiting so much that my stomach started to burn, ache with an unbelievable pain. I look down and I see blood, dripping from my nose and my mouth. I lean against the bathroom wall, trying to wipe my mouth, I begin to try and yell for help and all of a sudden.. my body gives out and I feel something I've never felt before, I feel my body trying to fight but it cant withstand it, I start to shake uncontrollably and end up in a seizure. 

Next thing I know, I see my family all around me, holding me with fear and confusion. Since when do I have seizures? How did this begin? Where is it coming from?  Apparently, there's a lot for us to find out.. 

They rush me to the hospital, I start to shake uncontrollably, and everything fades to black.... 

Waking up

 After I woke up, the paramedics were trying to rush me to the hospital, but instead, I was so adamant about going home. I was begging them, "just please let me go home, I just want to go home, everything will pass." They were insisting to take me to the emergency room but I was insisting otherwise. They were explaining to me the seriousness of the situation and I understood that, but I still just wanted to go home. With hesitation, they had me call the general of the hospital and give them my verbal consent that I was refusing to go to the hospital to get care. 


Whenever I remember that moment, or even share that with others, it seems "what was I possibly thinking to not go to the hospital!" the risk I could have been taking, the risk I was taking, and yet all that was on my mind was that I needed to just speak and pray with my family.


My mom pulled up to come pick me up, I remember her just jumping out of the car with her face pale and such fear and worry in her eyes. It was as if everything around me just went into slow motion. I heard the paramedics talking to her, all of my coworkers and boss telling her what had happened, how important it is for me to see a doctor, how serious this is, and how dangerous it is for me to simply go home in my condition. It was as if all the voices were echoing and yet at the same time it was a blur.


My mother helps me get into the car and looks at me, she tells me "Krestina, we have to see a doctor, we have to see what caused this, this is important." I look at her and smile, " Mom, its okay. I'm fine, I'm sure it will never happen again, let's just go home..."


Little did I know, that home wasn't going to help.