With all the unanswered questions, one of my doctors tells me that we need to look into going to Mayo Clinic. He explains to me that Mayo Clinic is one of the best clinics and hospitals in the nation and they would probably be able to figure out and understand why my body is giving out and what it's really fighting. After much thought and discussions, my family decides to go to Mayo Clinic to receive some answers. But even if they don't have the answers we seek, our hope and our peace will still remain in God. My mother and I pack up our bags, get in the car, and begin to drive to Mayo Clinic in Jacksonville, Florida. As we are driving there, we are not only excited for this opportunity, but also fearful. There is a huge chance that they will help me, that they will tell me why my body is reacting this way, that they will have or find a cure. There is also the slight chance that they simply may not.
I arrive at Mayo Clinic. The campus is beautiful. There are so many buildings and testing centers. It’s almost like a whole different world: a place of hope, healing, and comfort for the sick. I begin testing. After testing and procedure after procedure, quickly, the idea of this beautiful place becomes a place of pain, stress and discomfort. I’m seeing specialists of all different parts of the body, from the heart, brain, stomach and bones, to the simplest of nerves. Throughout this whole time, I wait. I wait for them to tell me what they've found or if they've found anything at all. Every day, I walk in this path of pain, not only physical but also mental.
After testing and seeing specialists from April to August, I have my final appointment with the main doctor that I have been assigned to. With a billion thoughts running through my head, I slowly walk to the door. As I draw nearer, I realize, I will finally receive answers. Even if it’s bad or the worst news, at least I will now know. As I walk into her office, a mixture of anxiety and excitement runs through my body. The nerves tingle in my stomach. I slowly take a seat and my mother follows. The doctor begins by explaining the reason for the tests. "Krestina, unfortunately, we are dealing with an autoimmune disorder and medically that is an irreversible sickness." The doctor's voice trails off, "There is nothing left for us to do." She tells me that doctors don’t know where it comes from and that this is a difficult situation that can't be reversed. With a look of disappointment, she explains to me that this is my “new” lifestyle. "I'm so sorry," she offers. I sit there, not exactly sure how to react. Out of all the outcomes I had predicted, this was not one of them. My mother and I get up. Slowly, we walk out the door. There is nothing left to discuss.
As we drive home, my mother can’t stop the tears from rolling down her face. I can’t stop the pain that is running through my body, and neither one of us can stop thinking of what to possibly do next. Where do we go from here? What steps do we take next? When will God's healing power come upon me? The thought of living with these symptoms of seizures, vomiting, nausea, dizziness, and much more, feels extremely disappointing. This wouldn’t really be living at all. But even after my appointment, I know that this isn't going to be my lifestyle. Something inside me tells me that this is not the end of the road. I know in my heart that God will heal me. I will keep fighting fighting my own body, fighting to once again live a normal life, fighting the good fight of faith. I refuse to give up and give in.
Last night was again, another trip to the hospital for me.. After a long evening I was released and as I was driving home.. I felt so tired of fighting but I just kept thinking to myself.. I will not give up because God will do his work. This morning I remembered that my brother was traveling this week and met a women who's daughter was going through similar things. He spoke to her and saw that it was very painful for her, he asked for her number and told her to be expecting a call from me. As I remembered that this morning, I thought to myself.. I have to call her and pray for them. I called her and we start talking about her 13 year old daughter who is going through a similar situation., she told me they are scared and feel so alone, after talking to her for a long while, I reassured her that everything will be okay, we discussed and I gave her and told her everything that helped me. I prayed for her and their family, it encouraged her and by the end of the conversation she was crying with tears of joy, knowing that there is and always will be hope, with God all things are possible. As I got off the phone, I felt overjoyed and so grateful to God. It's all worth it, that young girl will know, she's not alone and she has hope, that she will live her life the way she has before. Those moments are what continue to show me that my trail has so many blessings through it, those moments are what continue to encourage me also, those moments are what I live for... To see God work . All Glory to God