After being rushed to the hospital again, all I remember was waking up to the doctors and my parents talking in the corner. I saw their gestures, their facial expressions, and simply the frustration that my parents were facing.
When I got the energy to even speak, all I squeezed out was "Mom... Dad..?" And they rushed to me.
They said "everything's going to be okay, we will figure this out, you'll be fine.."
I feel pain all over my body, having a hard time breathing or speaking, and with tears rolling down my cheeks, I smile.. Because even though it didn't seem like it at the moment, I knew that eventually... It would be okay.
After spending the whole night in the hospital, with them taking x-rays, scans, etc. they told my parents that whatever is going on in my body is much deeper than a simple X-ray. They said that we need to see several different specialist for help because the root of the problem is unseen and dangerous.
I remember getting frustrated myself, thinking, " What does that even mean? If it's dangerous.. How come it's unseen? How come they can't simply give me an answer..? Isn't that what hospitals are for?" And in that moment I just felt the Holy Spirit tell me, "Trust in The Lord your God and do not lean on your own understanding" and I just stopped and realized that whatever this road will bring... I must trust in The Lord, I must truly give it all to him, I must truly let go and let God fight this battle for me.
When I was well enough to be able to leave, the Doctors told my parents and I, " Don't be surprised if you have to bring her here again, just be ready." My mother nodded and they wheeled me over to the car in a wheelchair and helped me get in. They get into the car as well and just take a moment to take a deep breath. My mother sighs and says "How can we just sit and wait for these doctors to call us.. What are we supposed to do?" I turn to her and say, "Mom, we will wait on The Lord.." And we smile at each other in agreement.
Today, I want to celebrate Life. I just celebrated my 22nd birthday. When my sickness began, I was 20 years old and later I'll tell you how the doctors told me I wouldn't make it much longer. But here I am, almost two years later and I am alive and living. I may have days where I have seizures, vomiting, pain, fatigue, weakness, aching, fainting, and much more.. But even on those days, I can see, talk, hear, read, smile, laugh, and live. We take so many things for granted, the cars we drive, the roof over our head, our friends, our families, and simply the beautiful things God has given us in this life. The things that make us appreciate the beautiful things in this life are the very things that make us stronger as well. We wouldn't be able to appreciate the remarkable things God has given us, if we wouldn't experience the bad that comes our way. I want us all to celebrate LIFE, the thing that God has given us, take a moment to appreciate and thank The Lord today, the fact that even through your moments of weakness, you have strength to see, to hear, walk, talk, read, listen, smile, laugh, love, and live.
Thank God for the life that is YOURS to live, and make the most of it, cause we only have one life to live.