"Bless those who persecute you.."

Today I want to share something completely different then my usual lifestyle. Today I want to share something that didn't hurt me physically at all.. but instead, hurt me emotionally and completely broke my heart..
 As, Ive written in my other blogs, my path, my journey has been filled with trials..., physical, emotional, mental, spiritual.. and at times it seems like their endless. Well recently, Ive encountered a whole new test in my life and I feel like its taught me so much.. not just about myself and God but also just about us as Christian people.

Ever since I've became ill, I've had many attacks against me, mostly from people and in the spiritual.. I've felt it for a long time and I've heard many things that were said.. or what people thought...
In the beginning people would say things like " She's not even that sick", "No one will marry her because of her sickness", "God must be punishing her for something", and a lot about "God is using this to teach certain people in her life a lesson"... the talking was always there. There was someone trying to destroy me or put me down somehow.. and over the years.. its only gotten worse..

These past couple months, I have had multiple prophecies spoken to me.. and to be honest, I have to admit that many times I have been sketched out about prophecies, I have had many spoken to me that I know were from the Lord and then there has been those ridiculous ones like my fingers were going to fall off cause of nail polish.. silly, I know. But anyway, I always listen to prophecies but I never take them too close to heart, I just ponder on them and do just as the Bible tells us to do.. "test all prophets and prophecies.."  Well, I have had many prophecies spoken of many things but recently its been said to me many times to rebuke peoples words and thoughts against me.. and that I need to be careful of certain people in my life.. 

At first, It was like okay.. but what ELSE could someone possibly say? and then the prophecies started to double,triple, and quadruple in telling me over and over.. to be careful and rebuke the battle in the  spiritual realm.. I began to realize this is actually something that I need to seriously pray about. So, I started to spend more and more time in prayer with the Lord, asking him to reveal to me what is being said, I started to beg him to show me who, and to show me the battle that is being fought in spirit.. but I didn't expect what was to come..

He started to show me the battle, I started to feel it everyday, My spirit would ache, I would be so filled with the Spirit, I couldn't hold back... I'd be in so many tears... I began to feel the devil watching me and fill my room with this heaviness every night.. as if he was taunting me, trying to show me how much he wanted my life.. There would be times when my husband was out of town and I would have a girlfriend stay with me, and they would wake up.. and they felt it also. It was significant.. that he was showing me.. he would not give up.

Then, the Lord started to reveal to me.. what was being said about me and who these people were.. he started to show me faces, certain ones were very close to me, others just knew me from the side.. I didn't want to see them, I didn't want to believe it.. I tried to squeeze my eyes and shake my head..But the Holy Spirit said.. "look, you asked for the revelations..look!" My heart fell to the pit of my stomach.. could it really be? and why? what did i ever do to them? .. I stayed on my knees after the Lord showed me.. and I wept..

Things began to unravel, the truth started to come to light.. I started to hear from others, who and what else was said.. "I was ugly, skinny, and visibly ill." others, "She's not even ill, she's doing it for attention", "She just wants everyone to feel sorry for her", "She is faking it.", "How could she be married and happy, And she's Sick, I'm not..", "She deserves this, its a lesson that you can't have everything.." and the list goes on and on...

At first, I cried.. I was heart broken and hurt.. I have to be honest that a part of me got angry.. How could people be so cruel? How could someone dare say these things? What did I ever do to them? What did I ever do to deserve that?!? I am desperate for health! Desperate for Change! How could I fake this pain, this illness.. the most difficult, painful thing in my life.. This thorn in my side that I've begged God over and over again to take out.. How desperate I am to live like every other 23 year old lives.. to not have to have someone watching me 24/7.. How i wish for freedom from this... and yet, people have the nerve to say otherwise..


Through my pain, I came to God.. and asked for help.. "Lord, fight this battle for me.. you know the truth, you see my heart.. I refuse to let the devil work through this.." I will not let him destroy me through others.. I have God, the Almighty.. and he will carry me through this. I spent hours on my knees.. and I told the Lord, "I will not get up.. until I am free from this.." by the end of my prayer.. I could not stop praying.. not for me.. but for those who persecuted and attacked me.. May the Lord Almighty bless them, fill their lives with peace and joy, happiness and love.. may He fill their hearts with good things so that they may know the truth ..

God worked in my heart, helped me take away the pain.. helped me heal, and helped me completely forgive... and completely let go, to bless them and feel peace, He gave me this love for those people, that I could have never received myself... I forgave everyone who has ever said anything.. not just for them, but for myself.. because I will not let the devil destroy me and weigh above me because of their words.. 

Many of us have been attacked by words, by peoples thoughts, or their judgements.. sometimes we get angry, bitter, have hate towards someone and mostly, we hurt.. but you must let go. The truth is, by you feeling that way towards them.. you are only giving them the upper hand and letting them win, letting the devil win.. bitterness, hurt, hate, is one of the main things that the Devil uses to try and destroy us.. He reveals to us the truth about humans but the thing is, we are all sinners, we all fall short. NONE of us are perfect.. yet we are so quick to judge others or say something negative.. THAT is the truth, and thats the truth that God teaches us..  but he mainly teaches us that no one is perfect, he teaches us to forgive, to give our battles to him, he teaches us to love.. and bless those who persecute us..

We as humans can be so cruel with our words and thoughts.. we say and think these things, thinking no one will ever know or find out.. we feel like we can say anything we want but yet no one has the right to say anything about us.. Many times we don't think before we speak and our words have so much power.. just as it says in the bible "the tongue has the power for life or death"... and I can tell you first hand.. i've felt both. 

I have chosen love, not hate, forgiveness not bitterness, to bless not to curse, and life not death...  I refuse to let the devil try and destroy me, he cannot and will not for the Lord is my rock and my salvation... and no word, no thought and no one can touch me or have power over me, because of him... 

I pray with all my heart that we all learn to love and forgive and let go of hurt and hate, I pray that we continuously bless those who persecute us and not curse, I pray that we think before we speak and that when we speak.. we speak life into other and our lives not death.. I pray that we be condemned when we speak wrongly.. and be filled with wisdom to be able to understand the difference..


Proverbs 18:21 "Death and life are in the power of the tongue,"

 Matthew 12:36-27 “I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak, for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.”

Ephesians 4:29 “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”


Romans 12:14 "Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse."


Matthew 5:44 "But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,"


Luke 6:28 "Bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you."


1 Corinthians 4:12 "We work hard with our own hands. When we are cursed, we bless; when we are persecuted, we endure it;"


1 Peter 3:9 "Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing." 

(Many more pictures to come..)

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B2wtRrlati0MUWVMUE1zM0VqLTg/view?usp=sharing please take time to watch this video..